As I sit here watching my nephew opening all his Christmas presents, I have come to realize that children are awesome, despite all this wasted money on silly presents. Luckily the perfect solution just dawned on me - if a child is born during a holiday, the total gift expenditures are cut in half! So, using my patent-pending "minus 9 months" algorithm, the infograph below breaks down the best pregnancy timeframe by religion using their most notable present-giving holiday:
I can't say following this advice would 'technically' make you a bad parent, but you will have enough money saved up for that mid-life crisis Porsche. And, believe me, you'll need it after dealing with your extremely rebellious teenager who doesn't love you.