Goal Goalie Girth

Everytime I watch hockey, I always wonder why every goaltender is in great shape. Wouldn't a little extra weight make saving goals easier? In fact, wouldn't the perfect goalie be fat enough to block the entire net? I think so, let's calculate this ideal weight!

As a person who spent years studying physics, I can unequivocally state that only three shapes exist in nature: 1) Cubes 2) Cylinders and 3) Spheres. So, it's safe to assume that a perfect goalie is just a cube with a height and width equal to the dimensions of the goal and a depth of, let's say, 20 inches. Using the density of fat equal to 0.03 lb/in3, the chart below breaks down the target weight for goaltender perfection for a few different sports: